10 reasons why Akashi doesn't Have A Girlfriend
by BlueSkyBlue
Summary: A random idea i got. Mostly humor and hints of MidoTaka, AoKise and quite some AkaKuro. If ya don't like it, then don't read it.


Konnichiwa, minna-san! BlueSkyBlue a.k.a. Otonashi Hayuka is back presenting you guys a oneshot KnB fanfic! Now, this is an idea taken from a Maplestory fanfction, so credits go to the author of that fic, I forgot his/her name, dangit. And another note on is, I'm sorry for not updating my Sacred Heart fanfic, but finals are coming up soon so I need to work hard. I'll probably update one more chapter before the finals and for the whole next month, I won't be updating until my finals are done. Still, I hope you guys would love this fic! Sit down, relax, and enjoy!~

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><p><span><strong>10 reasons why Akashi doesn't have a Girlfriend<strong>

1. Kise

Akashi's father is always trying to set him up with a girl. The first time it happened was with a girl named Chiharu. They were strolling in a park when they bumped into Kise, who was as always, surrounded by loads of fangirls. However, one look from Akashi scared them away, leaving behind a relieved Kise.

"Ryouta," Akashi said.

Kise's face suddenly lit up. "Akashi-chi! I didn't know you were here!" he eyed Chiharu. "And this is-?"

"Chiharu, meet Kise Ryouta, a friend of mine. Ryouta, this is my 'girlfriend', Chiharu," Akashi introduced, emphasizing on the word 'girlfriend', as if he was signalling something to Kise.

Kise nodded and broke into a smile. Handing over a red rose he produced out of thin air to Chiharu, he winked and said, "A beautiful rose for a beautiful lady. How are you today, m'lady?"

Chiharu blushed and accepted the rose. "T-Thank you. I-I'm fine."

Akashi never saw Chiharu anymore after that day. She was busy chasing after Kise. He smirked. Forcing Kise to perfect copy Phantom from Maplestory sure did pay off.

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><p><span>2. Aomine<span>

"I have basketball practice, I assume you can wait for me here?" Akashi said to Rika Sasaki. This was not a question, but a statement.

Rika nodded eagerly. She can't wait to see her 'boyfriend', the infamous captain of the Generation of Miracles, play basketball.

It was three long hours before the practice ended. Bathing in sweat, the players made their way to the bench area. One of them, a tanned boy with navy hair approached her.

"Satsuki, hand me my towel," he demanded, opening his soda can.

Annoyed, Rika retorted. "I'm not Satsuki, whoever that is."

The guy landed his gaze on her. "Then you must be one of those girls. Well, you are not my type, I prefer girls with big boobs."

"I don't care about your fantasy girls," Rika snapped. "I'm Akashi-kun's girlfriend."

Aomine raised an eyebrow. "Akashi's? Why would he want such an ugly girl like you?"

Angriky, Rika stormed away. Akashi never saw her again too. But one thing is made clear: You never know, Ahomine's rudeness and idiocy can sometimes save the day.

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><p><span>3. Midorima<span>

"When is your birthdate? What are your hobbies? What..." Shawamura Ayumi kept pestering Akashi who was playing shogi with Midorima. When questioned by Midorima, she revealed that she's a Taurus.

After losing the 100th game, Midorima stood up to leave as he had errands to do.

"See you, Akashi," he paused. "By the way, Oha-Asa stated that Taurus's are never compatible with Saggitaurus's, nanodayo, you will experience bad luck today." He then left, leaving behind a confused Ayumi and a smirking Akashi.

Sure enough, Ayumi's driver's car broke down after that. Her handbag got pickpocketed and she slipped on mud. She wanted to buy some clothes but her credit card was canceled and in the end, Akashi had to lend her his clothes. Furiously, Ayumi threw her muddy clothes to Akashi and stormed out. "I should have listened to the green head guy!" she snapped. Just as she stormed off, a basketball hit her on her head and she turned around to give the random guy a scolding, Instead, her words halted and she stared at the guy. Is this fate?

A week later, Akashi met Ayumi clinging onto an annoyed Midorima, claiming that he's her new boyfriend, with a very, very jealous Takao behind them.

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><p><span>4. Murasakibara (and Himuro)<span>

Akashi and Kirigaya Yuki were eating in a restaurant when Murasakibara and Himuro decided to join in. They were having a very 'nice' meal, with Yuki eating her beef steak, Akashi slicing his chicken into pieces, Murasakibara and his mountain of desserts and Himuro settling just for a glass of ice lemon tea.

It was a very quiet meal. Yuki kept eyeing Murasakibara's desserts, wondering worriedly whether Akashi is able to pay for all the food.

To her horror, Akashi's phone rang and he had to leave all of the sudden, leaving her behind with the, the, the, the food monster!

The next day, Akashi received a phone call from Yuki who wasted no time yelling her head of at him about Murasakibara and his big appetite.

"How DARE YOU?! His meal alone coated 516,890845 yen! He PRACTICALLY used up my monthly allowance!" Yuki yelled at Akashi. She then ended the call and severed all ties she had with Akashi, even refusing the cheque Akashi offered to recover her 'loss'.

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><p><span>5. Kuroko<span>

After a round of truth or dare, Hino Aki was dared to go on a date with Akashi to the "Haunted Mansion" minigame. They were both walking into the mansion when a scary joker face popped out from the ceiling. Aki squealed. Akashi just stayed silent. Not wanting to be made fun by an Akashi, Aki tried to stay cool, telling herself everything was fake. That is, until Akashi excused himself to go to a nearby toilet.

Aki was standing on the spot with her eyes clenched tight muttering, "It's alright" over and over again when someone tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around, thinking it was Akashi but came face-to-face with a very pale face wearing a bloody shirt.

"Ano... Are you lost?"

Aki stared at the 'ghost' for a while, before shrieking and running away.

"Tetsuya, what are you daoing here? Where's Aki?"

The 'ghost' turned to see Akashi coming back from the toilet.

"She ran away."

"What's that on your shirt?"

Kuroko held up a paintbrush. "I was painting the walls red, some just got on my shirt."

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><p><span>6. Momoi<span>

A slim body, showing off her naturally beautiful curves, with very, very large breasts. A petite look with long pink hair. A girl any guy would die for. Her grace and movements are like a goddess's.

After meeting her, Fujimoto Haruka practically dragged Akashi across the room, leaving behind a confused visiting Momoi behind and hissed, "You expect me to believe she's only your manager?"

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><p><span>7. His Parents (since there is no mention of his parents in the anime, this is all made up. I'm not following the manga even though I read it. XD)<span>

Akashi's mother, Akashi Ayuka, was absolutely delighted when he brought his lab partner, Irie Kotoko, home to finish their homework. However, Ayuka dragged Kotoko with her and started dressing her up, squealing like a fangirl at her 'cuteness'.

Kotoko never went near Akashi again.

Akashi's father, Akashi Akita, on the other hand had reacted badly when another lab partner, Kinomiya Sakura visited.

"She's too fat," he had said. "And she's taller then you. You must have a girl shorter than you! What position did she get in class? Is she...-" Akashi's father continued rambling.

Offended, Sakura left.

"Ha, look at her. If she really wanted to be an Akashi, she'd have stood up to me," Akita reprimanded.

"Otou-san," Akashi snipped his scissors dangerously. "She's my lab partner, we're supposed to finish a project together."

"Oh," Akita stopped. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

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><p><span>8. His eyes<span>

After the whole Emperor Eye ordeal, Akashi has mismatched eyes. Since he had the 'habit' of staring at people in the eye when he ask *ahem*, I mean, orders them, this became a good advantage to scare off more girls. The first time it happened was with a girl called Chie Yukiko. Akashi was doing his homework with an annoying Kise with him. Staring at Yukiko in the eye, Akashi ordered' her to lend him her RED scissors. He then used the scissors to 'accidentally' cut off Kise's hair. The girl ran away, telling Akashi to keep the scissors.

The next few days, rumors spread around the school about Akasi's eyes. Some say he uses a pair of scissors to gouge out someone's eyes and replaced it with his. Some say he tortures and kills people with scissors.

Akashi 'ordering' Midorima to lend him his scissors immediately shut them up;.

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><p><span>9. His "Dark" side (which he shows all the time)<span>

Akashi was in his room when his phone vibrated. He checked it and saw a Facebook notification.

_Aomine Daiki has a new status: How do ya kill an annoying guy?"_

Akashi smirked, his fingers started to type a comment on the status.

_Akashi Seijuro: First you slowly rip off his hands and cut off his legs. Then gouge his eyes out and cut out his tongue. Dig out his organs, while doing this, spill salt and alcohol on all his wounds and then you carver out his heart. =)_

As soon as all the girls who added Akashi to their Facebook saw the comment, they immediately blocked him. But that was all...

_Kise Ryouta: Aomine-chi, Akashi-chi, how could you?! Uwaaaaaa! Why is everyone being so mean to meeeeeeeeee?! T^T T^T T^T #sad #deppression #suicide #foreveralone_

_Midorima Shintaro: Who says the annoying guy is you?_

_Takao Kazunari: Shin-chan is so tsun-tsun!_

_Kuroko Tetsuya: On the other hand, why don't you just confess to him?_

_Aomine Daiki: Tetsu!_

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><p><span>10. And because he has a...<span>

Akashi took a sip of his tofu soup and stared at the person in front of him.

"How is your meal, Tetsuya?"

The teal haired boy looked at his empty glass. "Can I have some more milkshakes?"

Akashi gave a small smile at his antics. "Just one more. You have already finished your 15th one just now."

"Gomen, Akashi-kun, I just couldn't help myself," Kuroko looked down.

"Anything for you Tetsuya, and what did I tell you before? Call me Seijuro," Akashi clucked his tongue.

"A-, I mean Seijuro-kun," Kuroko blushed a little.

"Yes?"

"Nothing really."

Akashi's phone vibrated suddenly and he checked his notifications. He smirked. "Looks like Daiki and Ryouta got together after all."

"Speaking of reationships, what about the girls your father set you up with?" Kuroko asked.

Akashi smirked again. "I got some 'help' in getting rid of them."

Kuroko nodded in understanding. "I was afraid one of them might take you away," he pouted.

"How many times did I tell you?" Akashi got up and took Kuroko by the hand. "No one can take me away, except you, for you are mine."

"Hai, Aka-, I mean, Seijuro-kun," Kuroko replied, blushing again.

"Aishiteru, Tetsuya," Akashi said as he pulled up and closer to him.

Kuroko's blush deepened. "I love you too, Seijuro-kun," he whispered.

And together, they shared a sweet long kiss.

... boyfriend by the name of Kuroko Tetsuya

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><p>ANNNNNNNDDDDDD THAT'S IT! Done! Nooow, I am open to more 10 reasons requests to any sort of KnB characters or anime as long as i know them. BUT, I will only update after next month as stated at the beginning: I have finals. Thanks for reading this fic and please leave a review! Please don't fire if I got some mistakes here and there, I have tried my best! Till next time ~~<p>

Yours,

BlueSkyBlue,

a.k.a. Otonashi Hayuka


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